Memories-Blessings or Curses

By: Nancy Abiera

 

“The memory of the just is blessed: but the name of the wicked shall rot.” Proverbs 10:7

Our lives are full of memories. We are like a superfast computer that stores information of our experiences. We have memories that are happy while some are tragic. There are inspiring ones while others may be discouraging. Thus, we can conclude that we can either have positive or negative memories. It is very easy to tell someone which way they are focused by the expression of their speech, body language and responses. Such started from their thoughts where memories surface. In other words, these memories when triggered will either be a source of blessings or a source of curses.

Allow me to surprise you. We have a choice to be a blessing and receive blessings. On the other hand, we can also be a source of headache to someone which also can give us headaches in return. In short, we reap what we sow based on our character and integrity. These are at the core of our being where our values and beliefs were formed during childhood. They are kept subconsciously and are further developed as we grow into adulthood.

Let me share some observations I have as follows:

Children who experienced criticisms become critical of themselves and others as adults. Children who experienced bullying become bullies as adults.

Children who experienced RAN (rejection, abandonment and neglect) ran avoiding intimacy as adults.

Children who experienced humiliation developed low self esteem as adults. Children who experienced affirmation/love become affirming/ loving to themselves as adults.

Children who experienced acceptance/approval become encouraging as adults. Children who experienced safety become stable as adults.

Children who experienced love becomes loving as adults.

Many times, even though we are already in our senior years of age, we are still acting out like children. It is alright if it is positive. However, most often it is the reverse. I suggest you find someone who will listen to you and process things. It is very therapeutic. Better yet, talk to God about it. He can be your friend. My counsel is, “If you do not talk it out, you will act it out.” In fact, most problems we face results in the following issues in life.

P Power

A Anger

C Control

T Trust

S Self-Esteem

The above issues create problems causing unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships at home, work and other places creating memories turning from bad to worse to worst.

In order to find solutions to these problem issues, I suggest that you do the following exercise. Reflect back and travel into your childhood memory lane. What was your experience like? Write them down. They are probably a combination of good and bad things. I suggest that you keep and cherish the positive ones. Now, for the negative, it’s time to cross out/delete these junk files in your mind/computer. Forgive the people and forgive yourself.

This exercise will free you from the pain you have been holding on for many years. Release them all like trashing them. These would free up some memory storage in your brain. This is good as an anti-aging regimen preventing diseases, such as dementia and/or Alzheimer. Moreover, find some lessons in those negative experiences. Perhaps, you became stronger or more understanding. If the lessons you learned are still negative, continue to evaluate where it started and dig deeper to uproot them.

Choose “On A Bright Side.” I love you, readers with the love of the Lord yet the Lord loves you the most. Smile and be a blessing.##