Wife is Cute

By: James DC

Wife is cute, When she is mute, And Husband is honey, When he gives money.
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DEAR GIRLS, Madonna is 57, Her boyfriend is 27, Tina Turner is 77, Her boyfriend is 27, JLO is 44 Her boyfriend is 28, Still single? Relax. Your boyfriend is not Even born yet.
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Husband called wife on phone and, “today no need to cook, I will bring dinner from Second Wife.”
Husband came home and knocked at the door.
Wife opened the door and that’s the only thing Husband remembered.
Husband is in ICU now….
Whereas Second Wife Is a name of a particular restaurant.
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Nasa voting center si Tatay Pedro, nagtanong siya sa mga teachers.
Pedro: Mam, bumoto na po ba ang asawa ko?
Teacher: (Tiningnan sa listahan), Opo, may isang oras na po ang nakalipas.
Pedro: Sayang, naagahan ko sana. Teacher: Bakit po, hindi na po ba kayo magkabahay ni Nanay?
Pedro: Sampung taon ng patay ang asawa ko. Pero nabalitaan ko, Tuwing election, bumuboto daw sya dito.
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MGA INGLESERA SA KANTO
1. Ats If!
2. The Nerd!
3. I’m sick of tired!
4. True good to be true!
5. When it rains, it’s four!
6. Once in a new moon
7. Keep your mouth shock!
8. Connect me if I’m wrong
9. I hope you don’t mine.
10. Will you please give me alone.
11. Oh my gas!
12. Blessing in the sky
13. Please don’t make fond of me
14. I’m serious, staff it!
15. Standing ovulation
16. I’m serious, staff it!
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COP: You were going too fast.
ME: I was just trying to keep up with the traffi c.
COP: But there isn’t any. ME: I know. That’s how far behind I am from them.
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Are you frickin’ serious?
So after I left the drive-thru today, I took my sandwich out of the bag and see this. Seriously? Oh no, not today, Satan! Not today! So I went back to the restaurant, went inside (already fuming), asked for the manager and then threw the sandwich on the counter. I asked him for an explanation. He looked confused, so I pointed at the writing on the sandwich and demanded to tell me why someone felt the need to write it on my sandwich. He replied, “Because your ordered BLT with cheeeeese!”