Suicide: How To Help Someone

By: Melody Dizon

 

If you are like me, hearing the word suicide, is like being given a tranquilizer that paralyzes my body to think what actually went through the person’s mind right before they throw the towel in. I would think this is not the first try but one out of many perceived and planned attempts, sadly though to their success in demise. The celebrities especially, living their lives under a microscope, with all the smiles in all their glory in their perfect world, one may seem to think, isn’t really one at all, is just a fraction of the population that’s hardly hit by mental illness.

The death of celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain on Friday and fashion designer Kate Spade earlier in the week highlights the importance of recognizing signs and symptoms when someone intends to end their life. Suicide rates are rising by the number and if copycats are counted too because of celebrity-effect then by 2020, the World Health Organization estimates 1 out of every 20 seconds will commit suicide. That’s high. Mental health awareness and attention is at its peak right now with insurgence of gun violence, suicide, mass threats etc.

I know all of us want to help someone, so here are some resources and tools I can give you:

WARNING SIGNS

Some warning signs may help you determine if a loved one is at risk for suicide, especially if the behavior is new, has increased, or seems related to a painful event, loss, or change. If you or someone you know exhibits any of these, seek help by calling the Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves.

Looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online or buying a gun.

Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.

Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain, being a burden to others.

Talking about Increasing their use of alcohol or drugs, Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly.

Sleeping too little or too much, Withdrawing or isolating themselves.

Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge, displaying extreme mood swings.

HOW TO HELP SOMEONE WHO IS SUICIDAL

The five action steps for communicating with someone who may be suicidal are supported by evidence in the field of suicide prevention.

ASK: How – Asking the question “Are you thinking about suicide?”How do you hurt?” and “How can I help?”communicates that you’re open to speaking about suicide in a non-judgmental and supportive way. Asking in this direct, unbiased manner, can open the door for effective dialogue about their emotional pain and can allow everyone involved to see what next steps need to be taken. Do not ever promise to keep their thoughts of suicide a secret.

The flip side of the “Ask” step is to “Listen.” Make sure you take their answers seriously and not to ignore them, especially if they indicate they are experiencing thoughts of suicide. Listening to their reasons for being in such emotional pain, as well as listening for any potential reasons they want to continue to stay alive, are both incredibly important when they are telling you what’s going on. Help them focus on their reasons for living and avoid trying to impose your reasons for them to stay alive.

Why: Studies show that asking at-risk individuals if they are suicidal does not increase suicides or suicidal thoughts. In fact, studies suggest the opposite: findings suggest acknowledging and talking about suicide may in fact reduce rather than increase suicidal ideation.

KEEP THEM SAFE

How

Have they already done anything to try to kill themselves before talking with you? Does the person experiencing thoughts of suicide know how they would kill themselves? Do they have a specific, detailed plan? What’s the timing for their plan? What sort of access to do they have to their planned method?

Why

Knowing the answers to each of these questions can tell us a lot about the imminence and severity of danger the person is in. If they have immediate access to a firearm and are very serious about attempting suicide, then extra steps (like calling the authorities or driving them to an emergency department) might be necessary. The Lifeline can always act as a resource during these moments as well if you aren’t entirely sure what to do next. A number of studies have indicated that when lethal means are made less available or less deadly, suicide rates by that method decline, and frequently suicide rates overall decline. Research also shows that “method substitution” or choosing an alternate method when the original method is restricted, frequently does not happen. The myth “If someone really wants to kill themselves, they’ll find a way to do it” often does not hold true if appropriate safety measures are put into place.The Keep Them Safe step is really about showing support for someone during the times when they have thoughts of suicide by putting time and distance between the person and their chosen method, especially methods that have shown higher lethality (like firearms and medications). (to be continued in next issue)