Mega “Great” Conflict Resolution

By: Nancy Abiera

 

People avoid conflicts. However, conflicts are common/normal day-to-day part of life. Embrace conflicts like friends and see their power to scare you flee. Most conflicts may even be a blessing in disguise as they lead us to growth and maturity bringing out the best in us. CONFLICTS stands for Creative Opportunities New Fruitful Long-lasting Insurmountable Collaborative Testimonies Stupendous.

Our SELF (Self-centered Envious Lustful Fearful) fallen nature are in conflict with our original/spiritual (GOD) intended nature as we are made in God’s image and likeness. This “SELF” is spelled backwards “FLES” without “H” (Him/GOD) is likened to FLESH (Fallen/Fearful Lustful Envious Self-centered without Him/God).

The SELF or the FLESH are open doors where we are hooked by the enemy using deception causing division, strife, etc. and all sorts of confusion creating even more conflicts.

In these present times of crisis we are facing globally , we are even more prone to have more conflicts: mentally , psychologically, physically, emotionally, relationally, financially and even spiritually within us and others as PMS (Point of view Differences; Misunderstanding & Stress) increase.

First, Point of view differences can be resolved by way of “Agree to Disagree” approach. Second, misunderstanding (90% conflicts arise) can be easily resolved by merely listening intently to understand and not under-estimate. Third, let the stress caused by the conflict work as a great opportunity to be stretched to the max bringing out the best in us.

Moreover, there are some practical/powerful ways conflicts can work to our favor by using the STILL “Stop, Take-Initiative-Look & Listen” approach:

Stop – Be STILL –

In Psalm 46:10 a God says: “Be still and know that I am God.” To be still is resting in God quiet in His presence. This helps us hear God clearly. Oftentimes, we fail to hear divine revelations because we are too busy/anxious talking endlessly. Proverbs 17:28 says: “Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts h is lips, he is considered perceptive (wise).” Silence clears the clutters that enlighten giving both parties opportunities to reflect/discern and understand more before reacting.

Take-Initiative-Look –

“Behold, the Lord GOD comes with might, and his arm rules for him; behold, his reward is with him, and his recompense before him” (Isaiah 40:9-10). To “behold” is “to initiatively look at.” The glory of the Lord shall be revealed, so look at your God, look at his might, and look at his reward. Look at your God! As we look at God, we magnify Him and what He can do while conflicts become minute and eventually diminish/dissipates. Observe what God says (logos/rhema) or does (zoe) in the conflict situation. Observe and absorb God.

Listen –

“No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen.” Most often people do not listen because they are getting ready to argue than agree. Let us listen more; talk/anger be less, agree and not argue.

James 1:19 says: “. . . be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. . . ” and not the reverse which is being “quick to argue, talk back quickly and defensively and become fast and furious in anger.”

Listening with the intent to understand and resolve the conflict is the best key. Instead of arguing against each other about the conflict, agree to face the conflict together head on with a common goal/solution benefiting both using the “win/win” approach. Attack the problem together.

As we practice STILL we are able to relax to dialogue, express and communicate kindly together. It is wise to hit conflict head-on together and talking things out in a kind, honest and humble way from the heart. In short, “talk it out, and never act it out.” Fight, Flight, Freeze or Forget (Play Dead) will not work very effectively as these only stop/ prolong the process to resolve. Instead, Face Faithfully Forcefully & Fearlessly whatever conflicts there may be with God’s help.

Always choose “On A Bright Side” moving further and farther “On A Brightest Side”. I love you readers with the love of the Lord yet the Lord loves you the most. You are blessed. Smile and be a blessing! Rev. Nancy H. Abiera