Pinoy Jokes

By: James DC

A gang decided to rob a bank…they opened every vault and foundonly cups of yogurt. So they ate it all…
Next day, in CNN news:”BIGGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED!”
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Teacher: Class, use the word “among” in a sentence…
Juan: AMONG the trees, coconut is the best!
Teacher: Very Good! You Pedro?
Pedro: AMONG arenola gikawat sa nagbasa!
Hahahha
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A cute and funny way to ask someone out….
Boy: I’m invisible!
Girl: Owwwzzz? Talaga?
Boy: Can you see me?
Girl: syempre naman!
Boy: 7 pm tonight?
What is LOVE ?
Love is romantic, fantastic, realistic, dramatic and full of atik – atik(lies)…. dah lage
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” THE GUN…..
KAY NAAY IRO….”
Agpas ” the gun”(run) dayon
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Use chocolate in a sentence…
CHOCO NA LATE
AKO….
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Your a certain person I always enjoy sending Text messages coz I want
you to feel that You’ve really a part of my expenses…
Ay mali(sorry)
THOUGHTS pala…
___________
I may not be with you everyday
But one thing I promise you…
I”ll be there on your wedding day, I’m going to sit beside you while saying…
” yes…. kaon na ni…
(eating time!)
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Friends are like mirrors
They are our reflection
Busa ayaw katingala nganong
hitsuraan ka…
Oh come on… friends baya
tah…
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Kano : why you came
late ?
Pedro : Juan, tabangi ko
eninglish be. Ingna nagduha-duha ko
ug lakaw kay ang adlaw hapon na.
Juan : I two by two walk
because the sun is Japanese.
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Roses are red, skies are blue,
Monkeys like you, should
be kept in zoo
Don’t get angry… you’ll
find me their too…
Not in the cage, but laughing
at you.
___________
PRAYER BEFORE
MEALS :
Bless this FOOD, ako
FOOD, siya FOOD, aron ang
pagkaon
Ma aFOOD- aFOOD u
gang sud-an maiguFOOD
Hangtud ang ngipon ma-
FOOD-FOOD…. katawa FOOD
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Apo : LOLO look at those boats…
Erap : Nice diba iho, they are called yachts
Apo: How do you spell it?
Erap : Youre’re right iho, they’re boats.
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Teacher : What will
change if the ice water turn into ice?
Student: The price, sir….
__________
Four catholic mothers are sitting around, bragging about their sons, each of whom is a priest.
First mother says: My son is a monsignor and when he walks in the room, people greet him: “Good
morning Monsignor!”
Second mother says: Well, my son is a bishop and people greet him: “Good morning your Grace!”
Third mother says: Well, my son is a cardinal and people greet him: “Good morning you’re Eminence!”
The fourth mother pause and says: “My son is seven feet tall and is 350 pounds of pure muscles.
When he walks outside, people greet
him: “Oh My God!”
__________
Last night, I’m lying on my bed, looking up the sky and the stars,
the sky is so clean and the night is so peaceful;
at last I said…………..
“Ginoo ko !!!asa naman among ATOP”