Sa Pasko

By: James DC

 

Sa mga inaanak ko: sa Pasko, wag muna kayo lumabas.
Delikado pa.
__________
CHINA TO BIDEN
China is already welcoming Biden and assuming he will win. They have even named a central landmark in Beijing for Biden…”FOR BIDEN CITY!”
__________
Fulfilling their requests There were 3 men who died and before God would let them into heaven, he gave them a chance to come back as anything they wanted.
The first guy said ” I want to come back as myself, but Sa Pasko 100 times smarter. So God made him 100 times smarter.
The second guy said “I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter. So God made him 1000 times smarter.
The last guy decided he would be the best. So he said “God, make me better than both of them, make me 1,000,000 times smarter.
So God made him a woman !!
__________
The prison hospital
Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You’ve already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!
Doctor: I am, bit by bit.
__________

Where have you been?
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.
When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.
“You’re running around with other women,” she charged.
“You’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You’re the
only woman on earth.” The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone
poking him in the chest.
It was Eve. “What do you think you’re doing?” Adam demanded.
“Counting your ribs,” said Eve.
__________
*This is ribs cracking*
A woman and a man were involved in car accident.
It was a bad one, caused by the woman’s reckless driving.
Both of their cars were badly damaged but amazingly neither of them was hurt.
After they crawled out of … cars, the woman says; “So, you’re a man. That’s interesting. I’m a woman.
Wow, just look at our cars!
There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for
the rest of our days.”
The man replied,” I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!
The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle.
My car is completely damaged, but this bottle of wine didn’t break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”
Then she handed the bottle over to the man.
The man nodded his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.
The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”
She replies, “Nah. I think I’ll just wait for the police to come and collect their evidence.”
(drunk driver’s offense)
Adam ate the apple again!
Men will NEVER learn!
Women will Never change!!!