Jokes

By: James DC

 

NANAY: Wow! Galing naman ng anak ko a Math. Singe nga, tanungin kita.
ANAK: Sige.
NANAY: Kung bibigyan kita ng 3 apples at bibigyan ka ng Papa mo ng 4 apples, ano ang sagot mo?
ANAK: Salamat!
__________
TITSER: Ano ang past tense sa laba?
BOY 1: Naglaba, Mam.
TITSER: Ang present?
BOY 2: Naglalaba, Mam
TITSER: Tama! Ano ang future tense?
BOY 3: Magsasampay!

At age 20, we worry about what others think of us.
At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us.
At age 60, we discover they don’t think of us at
__________
MGA INGLESERA SA KANTO
Ats if! (As if) The nerd! (The nerve)
I’m sick of tired! (I’m sick and tired)
True good to be true! (Too good to be true)
When it rains, it’s four!
(When it rains, it pours)
Once in a new moon!
(Once in a blue moon)
Keep your mouth shock!

(Keep your mouth shut)
Connect me if I’m wrong!
(Correct me if I’m wrong)
I hope you don’t mine (I hope you don’t mind)
Will you please give me alone? (Will you please leave me alone?)
Blessing in the sky!
(Blessing in disguise)
Oh, my gas! (Oh, my gosh!)
Please don’t make fond of me! (Please don’t make fun of me)
I’m serious, staff it! (I’m serious, stop it)
__________
A married couple in their 60’s are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
“I want to travel the world with my darling husband.” Two tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand.
Husband says, “Sorry, my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.”
Fairy waves her hand and husband becomes 92.
Moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember that fairies are female!!!