By: James DC
Finally, I have understood the difference between
Lock-Up and Lock-Down.
Lock-up is STAY IN POLICE CUSTODY; Lock-down
is STAY IN WIFE’S CUSTODY.
Lock-up is bailable; Lock-down is non-bailable.
American: In the US, stealing is against the law, you will be jailed.
British: In the UK, foreigners who are caught stealing are deported.
Saudi Arabian: Do not steal or your hand will be cut off.
Japanese: Stealing is dishonor to family, we make Harakiri.
Chinese: If caught stealing you face firing squad.
Filipino: Stealing is FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY.
FRENCH LESSON IN PINOY
Cough: O Vou
Ashes: A Vou
Car: Re Vou
Balloon: Lo Vou
Drugs: Sha Vou
Goodbye: Va Vou
Cute: A Cou!
IN MY CLASS
Teacher: In my class, I don’t want to hear you speaking Tagalog, Is that clear?
Student: Yes, Maam.
Teacher: Let me know your anme first. What’s your name?
Student: My name is Earlyseven Strikeland Neverbroke.
Teacher: Wow! Are your Fil-Am?
Student: No Ma’am.
It’s the English term for my real
name. AGAPITO HAMPASLUPA DIMAGIBA.
Juan: Lolo, kumain ho kayo kahit dalawang kutsara lang.
Lolo: Sira ulo ka pala eh, lugaw nga di ko malunok, KUTSARA pa kaya!
TEACHER AT JUAN
Juan nakasalubong yung teacher
Teacher: Juan, hindi kita nakita sa klase ko ah!
Juan: Ikaw din naman hindi kita nakita!
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: “They’ve stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!” he cried.
The dispatcher said, “Stay calm. An officer is on the way.”
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. “Disregard,” he says. “She got into the back-seat by mistake.”
An elderly woman was walking her dog when a young man grabbed her purse and ran away. I asked ifshe was OK and he smiled and said that it’s really no big deal becaue she carries her old pure to put her dog;s poop in
it until she gets home to dispose of it.