Laugh at a Funeral

By: James DC

 

Avery prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life…

huge heart… covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat
in awe. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the
beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter.
When all eyes stared at him, he said, ‘I’m so sorry… I was just thinking of my own funeral…
I’m a gynaecologist!’
The priest fainted.

HOLY PROSTITUTES

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye…It reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought. Soon he sees another sign which reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, ‘What may we do for you! my son?’ He answers, ‘I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business….’ ‘Very well my son. Please follow me.’ He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, ‘Please knock on this door.’ He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs, ‘Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.’ He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign: GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER

MARRIED MAN & SECRETARY

A married man is having an affair With his secretary.
One day they went to her place And made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep And woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed And told his lover to take his
shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
‘Where have you been?’ his wife demanded.
‘I can’t lie to you,’ he replied, ‘I’m having an affair with
my secretary.. We had sex all afternoon.’
She looked down at his shoes and said:
‘You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!’

 

Karla Maglantay, Mike Bacos, James DC & Robert Chavez.

Karla, James, Jennifer, Robert. Arizza & Kyle.

 

Aizza, Robert, Arizza, James & Karla.