Friends in Deed When You’re in Need
By: Maria Girlie Pascual
A friend stopped by today (Monday, of all days), just to drop off something she picked up at the mall over the weekend, and to say hello since both of us are consumed by social and family obligations at the end of the work week. A simple gesture, indeed, but what a world of difference it makes to someone who seems to fill up her calendar with everything, but a day to breathe.
Yes, I am one of those creatures- a 24/7, hyperactive, manic individual whose idea of life is a fast-forward daily drill of schedules, appointments and commitments that propel me towards an endless flurry of activities that to me, hits personal targets that when accomplished, does not mark an end, rather the beginning of other goals.
I met my new friend less than six months ago, and yet, she has shown me that, while like me, she too engages in endless tasks for work and family, she never compromises her “me” schedule, to pause, to refresh, to rejuvenate her physical needs, which also leads to replenishing, nurturing and sustaining her spiritual countenance. And in between all of these, she also manages to connect with me in a very easy-going, relaxed way, engaging us both in thoughtful discourse, along with humorous musings on life, love and family. She has come at a time when I, once again, am being challenged by circumstances beyond my control, tested to my limit, and where an encouraging word, or even just an acknowledgment that you do matter to another person, helps to buoy your spirit and relaxes you in a way that only a true friend can.
Aside from her, a couple I know meets us for dinner and a movie, sometimes invites us for a Friday night cocktail, and in between our lively conversations, I am able to pick my friend’s brain, which he offers to me freely to ask advice on business matters, and this too, is a boon when I am in quandary or stumped for an answer.
Another special friend I have has taught me to always “go with the flow”, sincerely believes that God will always direct us to the right path, and that martinis and margaritas are a good end to a hectic work week. A bosom buddy also prays for my well-being and sanity, lighting a candle as an offering for me after feeding me one of his specialty dishes, while his ageless spouse offers me her ear every time I needed to purge, decompress, or just to let off steam. In between the meals and the round table discussions, this other friend, takes it upon himself to energize me by sharing his own special gift of healing after making me look good on TV—how can you not appreciate that?
And then there is my golfing family. Without golf, and the time we spend after the round talking about anything and everything, I have something to look forward to on Saturdays, especially when my female friends show up to play. That’s when the laughter gets louder, the jokes get sillier, and the sport becomes more than a game–it becomes a bonding ritual that only golfing friends understand, on and off the course. One golfer that I met in the league has also become a close family friend, in fact, IS considered family, has trusted me to be his partner in business, and who I rely on to steer the company to success. A female golfer BFF of mine is also someone I can always call for anything, and she goes out of her way to connect with me through text, call or a short mimosa moment before our game, never mind if our handicaps suffer when we do. She is smart, funny, and a true loving soul who my dogs gravitate to when she’s around.
As for my life partner, he has taken upon himself to alleviate my worries by taking care of the daily, mundane tasks at home, helping to free my mind and giving me time to accomplish what I deemed is more important.
In my youth, I would have tried to accomplish it all, solve the puzzles by myself, figure out my next move without consulting anyone, but now, times have certainly changed and I have mellowed enough to let more people in, allow myself to marvel at other people’s talents and grace, and more importantly, rely on them to help ease the burden of my challenges even in just knowing that they are there if and when I needed them.
With God’s grace, I know now that friends are the forgotten blessings that we sometimes take for granted, but whose very role in our lives are as vital as air, food and water, things we sometimes take for granted because they are always available for our consumption. Hallmark cards constantly remind us of the importance of our friendship, Facebook postings help us connect with a lot of people, but in this over-exposed explosion of our social media, who can you really count as your true friends?
In a book recently given to me as “pasalubong” from the Philippines by another good and extremely talented friend, there was a quote that inspired me to write this for my column. There, the famous author wrote down her special prayer to God to grant her in her aging years, “the presence of mind to help her remember her true friends, bad memory to help her forget the bad ones, and good eyesight so she can tell the difference.”
To my very limited Chicago circle of friends (you know who you are), these are tough times indeed, at least for me, but I am managing to keep my wits and sanity because you all have shared with me your precious time and thoughts to help me navigate this road we call life. I have broken bread with you all, shared my innermost thoughts and fears, have travelled with all of you, and through it all, you still accepted and loved me the same. I can be myself with all of you, four letter words and all ( 9 letters in Tagalog) and that I believe, is your greatest gift to me, and for that, I do thank each and every one of you.
To have a friend is to be a friend, and to all, I am proud to say that I am indeed, your friend as well.
