Secondhand Anxiety

By: Melody Rabor-Dizon

 

Ever been in a situation or been with someone where there’s endless drama, one story after another, high –strung emotions and never ending complaining? At the end of the day, you yourself will feel like a sponge, drained, dripping and feeling useless, as if all your positive vibes got sucked up in a vacuum. Why is that , you asked? Well, studies show that anxiety and stress, just like the flu or yawning, are contagious.

How does secondhand anxiety works

By simply observing someone expressing anger increases stress hormones in the body by 26 percent. Mirror neurons in the brain give us the capacity to understand others. (It’s how we develop empathy.) and in the same way we are also wired to absorb other people’s negativity or frustration. Per statistics, emotional contagion effect is strongest with those closest to us—family members, friends, or romantic partners—and may be heightened at certain, more stressful times of the year.

How can secondhand anxiety affect me

Secondhand anxiety can show up in many ways like worrying about other people’s problems, feeling antsy without knowing why, or rushing because someone else is. It is important to identify these behaviors so we can protect our mental health. We know chronic stress contributes to all sorts of long-term health problems, and it’s essential to get a plan in place to safeguard your happiness. Here are a few ways how to improve your emotional immunity and protect yourself from secondhand anxiety:

1. Stop the Spread of Stress

Humans are social creatures and are creatures of habit. When we see someone else stressing out, we might instinctively model them. You may think, “He’s freaking out, so I should be freaking out too,” or follow their lead and expect the worse. These unhelpful reactions are automatic, but can be changed. You may want to pause and tune into your response. Knowing your own stress style is one way to begin catching yourself before you overreact to negativity around you.

2. Empathize, Don’t Internalize

Validate people’s concerns. Give them a chance to share what’s keeping them anxious, but don’t join in on the negativity. Instead of taking on another person’s anxiety, see this as an opportunity to practice compassion towards them. You’ll only reinforce it and perpetuate the habit. Give other people the safe space that you wish others had given you.

3. Keep Your own Anxiety Levels Low

You’ve heard it many times, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Truth is, it’s one of the easiest ways to regulate stress and boost your immune system. Meditation and exercise are other great happiness boosters that’ll get good endorphins flowing. You can also steer your attention towards the positive by surrounding yourself with people and things that spark joy. Be around happy people. For me, anxiety arise when I do not know what is to happen. I’m sure people can relate to me and during those times when no one can appease me, I pray to God for complete trust on HIM. It’s freeing.

4. Bolster Your Boundaries

Creating boundaries is an act of self-care. Know when to step away from an interaction that isn’t serving you. You may want to limit exposure to such stress or other times, communicating clear expectations may do the work. By doing so, you support those you love and care with self-respecting limits firmly in place.

Increasing your self-awareness, setting healthy boundaries, and tending to your own emotional well-being are strong antidotes to keeping secondhand anxiety at bay. The more you reinforce your own resilience and put out positive vibes, the more you become part of the solution, not the problem. Mental health tip: protect your joy and your happiness, always…