Joke Time: Human Kind

By: James DC

 

A little girl asked her mother: ‘How did the human race appear?’

The mother answered, ‘God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.’

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, ‘Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.’

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, ‘Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?’

The mother answered, ‘Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.’

Just a little joke to start the day! It was reported that actually 6 Kings originally went to visit but only 3 reached Bethlehem. One went to the US and became Burger King. The other went to China and became Chowking. The third went to the Philippines to be Tapa King. HAPPY THREE KINGS Everyone!

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Pinoy Words in English: 1. Achuchuchu (A-chu-chu-chu): This refers to the pointless insincerities being said during long, involved conversations about nothing at all.

2. Ano (A-noh): The all-around, all-purpose word for everything.

(1) Pronoun in interrogation: Ano? (What)

(2) Noun: Where is your ano? (Where is your father/mother/ dead-uncle’s-second-cousin)

(3) Verb: Anuhin this. (Paint/kill/maim/castrate this.)

(4) Adjective: This is so ano. (This is so pretty/big/astounding.)

(5) Interjection: Ano! (What the hell!)

(6) Substitute for genitalia: Did you ano your ano?

The use of ano is quite dangerous for the untrained ear, and must be put into the proper setting. “Honey, the ano is too long, we have to cut it,” must be accompanied by the proper understanding of the context, as results may be critical to a couple’s future.

3. Booba (boo-bah): A female blessed with larger than usual mammary glands, which can be used as weapons of mass destruction.

4. Checheboreche (Cheche- boh-re-che): Same as achuchuchu. It is interesting to ponder on the reason why there are so many words in the Filipino language that beautifully describe meaningless chatter.

5. Epal (Eh-pal): An individual who believes he is God.

6. Gigil (gee-gil): An uncontrollable desire to bite something.

7. Hipon (Hee-pon): Literally “shrimp,” whose body is eaten while its head is thrown away, this refers to a female/male whose body is to die for and whose face looks like it belongs to the dead.

8. Kikay (kee-kay): Refers to individuals who carry a brush, hand wash, moisturizer, lip-gloss and various other facial enhancements in a case (aptly called a kikay kit) inside her bag. Recent inspections of various backpacks have led to the conclusion it is not a purely female trait. This breed cannot resist checking themselves out on mirrors, glass windows, bread knives, sidewalk puddles and plastic-covered notebooks.

9. Kaek-ekan (Ka-ek-ekahn): Same as achuchuchu and chechebureche.

10. Kilig (keel-leg): A rush of excitement due to the actions, presence or even mention of he whom you see as the future father of your children.

11. Laglag-brip (lag-lagbrip): The female counterpart of laglag-panti

12. Laglag-panti (lag-lagpan- tee): A man so incredibly hot, so heart-stoppingly gorgeous and oozing with masculinity that female underwear (whether worn by males or females) falls to the ground without effort whatsoever.

13. Indyanero (In-janneh- ro): An individual who fails to appear at an appointment without prior warning. Not to be confused with individuals who appear according to Filipino time (approximately 10 minutes before the meeting is to end)

14. Japorms (Jah-porms): Describes an individual dressed differently from the usual (typically involves clothes that have been laundered and pant legs of roughly the same length).

15. Lagot (Lah-got): A prophesy of evil things to come.

16. Para (Pah-rah): A term that informs the driver of a jeep to stop and pause (usually in the middle of the road) as the individual speaking intends to leave the vehicle. Dangerous for individuals as drivers seem to believe having one foot in the air is all that is necessary for descent.

17. Takusa (Ta-kuh-sa): Derived from takot sa asawa (afraid of wife), this is a term used to describe the silent (very silent) minority of males married to feminine reincarnations of Hitler.