Sisters

By: James Dc

Three sisters age 92, 94, and 96 live in one house together.
One night the 96-year-old draws a bath, puts her foot in, and pauses.
She yells down the stairs, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?”
The 94-year old yells back, “I don’t know, I’ll come up and see,” She starts up the stairs, and pauses, “Was I going up the stairs or coming down?”
The 92-year-old was sitting at the kitchen table, having tea, listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful, She knocks on wood for good measure. She yells, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”
I know you have been laying awake at night wondering why baby diapers have brand names such as “Luvs,” “Huggies,” and “Pampers,” while undergarments for old people are called “Depends?
Well, here is the lowdown on the whole thing. When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna luv ‘em, hug ‘em and pamper ‘em. When old people crap in their pants, it depends on who’s in the will.
__________
One night, may na-rape na sexy…..

Sexy: Maawa ka! Meron ako! Meron ako!
Rapist: Walang meron meron sa akin. Titikman kita! Hahaha!
Sexy: Wag!!! Ay! Ay!
Rapist: Meron ka nga! Meron ka ngang itlog! BAKLA!!!
__________
Tatay: Anak, ibili mo nga ako ng softdrink.
Anak: Coke or Pepsi?
Tatay: Coke
Anak: Diet or Regular.
Tatay: Diet
Anak: Bote or in can?
Tatay: Bote
Anak: 8 oz or litro?
Tatay: (Nagalit) Tubig na lang nga.
Anak: Mineral o distilled?
Tatay: Mineral
Anak: Malamig o hindi?
Tatay: Hahampasin na kita ng walis.
Anak: Tambo o tingting?
Tatay: Hayop ka.
Amak: Baka o kambing?