Wives and Husbands

By: James DC

 

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it’s all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.” “Why complain?” said the counselor. “You’re still getting the same service!”

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A man was telling his friends, “When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her.” One of his friends asked.” And when you are angry, what do you do?” The man replied, “I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.

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Which is the most Dangerous Letter in English??
The Answer is “W”…as in Wrong
“W” is a tension generator because all the worries and troubles
get begins with “W”…
Who? Why? What? When? Which ? Whom ? Where ?
War… Wine… Whisky… Women… Wealth
And finally…….
You have to accept this:
WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT…….
WIFE…..

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There are 3 kinds of men in the world:
Some remain single & make wonders happen,
Some have girlfriends & see wonders happen,
The rest get married & wonder what happened!?
The A B C…
After being married for thirty years a wife asked her husband
to describe her.
He looked at her slowly…then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F,
G, H…. I, J, K.”
She asks….. “What does that mean?”
He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant,
Fancy, Gorgeous, Honey.
She smiled happily and said….”Oh, that’s so lovely…..What
about I, J, K?”
He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”
His eye is still swollen….but it will get better………

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In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: “Your honor, I
want to divorce my husband.”
“But why?” asked the judge.
She replied, “Because he is not faithful to me.”
The judge asked, “How do you know?”
She replied, “My lord, not a single child resembles him.”

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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you
wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”

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Will you marry me… There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?” After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of ‘careful consideration,’ she answered. “Yes. Yes, I will.” The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. “Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?” He couldn’t remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn’t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, “When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?” He was delighted to hear her say, “Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I meant it with all my heart.” Then she continued, “And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.”

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