Wives and Husbands

By: James DC

 

Every Wife is a “Mistress” for her Husband.
“Miss” for one hour & “Stress” for the rest 23 hours!
There are 2 times when a Man doesn’t understand a Woman.
Before Marriage and After Marriage.
My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences.
He Thought He Was God, and I Didn’t.
Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet.
Those Waiting Outside Are Desperate To Get In & Those
Inside Are Desperate To Come Out.
Why Were Hurricanes Usually Named After Women?
Because When They Arrive, They’re wet and wild, But When
They Go, They Take Your House And Car…
A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can Remove A
Curse He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years.
The Wizard Says, “Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me The
Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You.
“The Man Says Without Hesitation, “I Now Pronounce You
Man And Wife.”
Husband Searching Keywords on Google `How to Tackle
Wife?
Google Search Result, “Still Searching`.
A Man Goes To A Shrink And Says, “Doctor, My Wife Is
Unfaithful To Me. Every Evening, She Goes To Larry’s Bar
And Picks Up Men. In Fact, She Sleeps With Anybody Who
Asks Her! I’m Going Crazy. What Do You Think I Should
Do?” “Relax,” Says The Doctor, “Take A Deep Breath And
Calm Down. Now, Tell Me, Exactly Where Is Larry’s Bar?”
Husband Throwing Darts at His Wife’s Photo and Not Even a
Single One Hitting the Target…
From Another Room Wife Called The Husband: Honey What
Are You Doing…
Husband: “MISSING YOU”…
A Man Goes To See The Rabbi.
“Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I Have To Talk
To You About It.”
The Rabbi Asked, “What’s Wrong?”
The Man Replied, “My Wife Is Poisoning Me.”
The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, “How Can That
Be?”
The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning
me, what I should do?”
The Rabbi Then Offers, “Tell You What. Let Me Talk to Her,
I’ll See What I Can Find out and I’ll Let You Know.”
The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, “Well, I Spoke To Her
For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?”
The Man Said “Yes”
The Rabbi Replied, “Take the poison”
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY…
Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to and
touched often.But push the wrong button and you’re disconnected……
Difference Between Complete & Finish…
People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH.
But there is… When you marry the right one, you are
COMPLETE…. And when you marry the wrong one, you are
FINISHED….. And when the right one catches you with the
wrong one, you are … COMPLETELY FINISHED!
Romantic…SMS She sends the following message:
My love if you’re sleeping, send me your dreams
If you’re smiling, send me your smile
If you’re crying, send me your tears. I love you
He Replied: I’m in the toilet. What do I send?

Joe & Veronica

LOL Happy-time: Karla, James, Robert, Aiza & Dave.

 

LOL Host James DC, Karla & Robert.