Can’t find keys
By: James DC
Leaving the Store, a lady couldn’t fi nd her Keys. They weren’t in her bag. Suddenly she realized that she must have left them in the car. Frantically, she headed for the parking lot. Her husband has scolded her many times for leaving her keys in the car’s ignition. He’s always had this fear that the car could be stolen.
As she looked around the parking lot, she realized he was probably right. The parking lot was empty. She immediately called the police. She gave them her location, confessed that she had left her keys in her car, and that it had been stolen.
Then, she made the most diffi cult call of all to her husband: “I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen.” There was a moment of silence. She thought the call had been disconnected, but then she heard his voice. “Are you kidding me?” he barked, “I dropped you off !”
Now it was her turn to be silent. Embarrassed, she said, “Well, come and get me.” He retorted, “I will; just as soon as I convince this cop that I didn’t steal your damn car!” Welcome to the golden years…
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Woman on a Bus
A woman tries getting on a bus, but realizes her skirt is too tight. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the fi rst step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, but only to discover that she couldn’t. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
After becoming quite frustrated and embarrassed, she once again attempted to unzip her skirt more in order to allow more leg room to get on the fi rst step of the bus.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled “How dare you touch my body! I don’t even know who you are!”
The Texan smiled and drawled “Well ma’am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fl y three times I kinda fi gured we were friends.
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MONEY
Former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Winston Churchill, once said: “I took a taxi one day to the BBC offi ces for an interview.
When I arrived, I asked the driver to wait for me for Forty Minutes until I ‘ll get back, but the driver apologized and said, “I can’t, because I have to go home to listen to Winston Churchill’s speech”.
I was amazed and delighted with the man’s desire to listen to my speech! So I took out 20 pounds and gave it to the taxi driver instead of 5 Pounds without telling him who I was. When the driver collected the money, he said: “I’ll wait for hours until you come back sir! And let Churchill go to hell”.
You can see how Principles have been modifi ed in favour of money; Nations were sold for money; Honour sold for money; Families split for money; Friends separated for money; People killed for money; and people being made slaves for money. For how much are you ready to sell your values? (if you have any)
I found this very interesting and decided to share.
