CHANGING MY NOW Change Your Thoughts… Change Your Life

By: Nancy H. Abiera

 

“Knowledge is power.” You have no power to change what you do not know. Some people live in the past unknowingly or intentionally. It is their familiar comfort zone they feel safe. They deny the present and fearful of the future. Thus, their past repeats itself in the present and in the future. In order to live in the moment, we can learn and let go of yesterday, enjoy now and get excited for tomorrow. Let me share with you how it all began.

Even at a very tender age of ten, I dreamt my life to be Rich, Undeniably Successful and Happy- RUSH. I hurried living my life for success when suddenly, in the spring of 1984 I found myself in a terrible mess. I was heartbroken and depressed from my first love that cheated on me.

By September of 1984, I left the Philippines for the United States hoping to find the American dream. I toured California and New York where I had multiple marriage proposals. I rejected them all. I knew I was not ready for any serious relationship after the trauma from the first one. Cutting the story short, I ended up in Chicago; got married to a man named, Jonathan, whom I barely met in 19 days. My life was falling apart as my faith was also shaken. I was born and raised Catholic; got married to a divorced/Protestant. It was chaotic. I had matriage/religious/ weather/culture shocks all at the same time, yet clueless what to do. I did not even have time to think yet deep inside, I knew I was being led to the right path. Though I must admit, back then I was so overwhelmed with the major changes that left me with so many choices.

My emotions took control preventing me to think clearly. I was reacting like a “911-emergency” in a hurry and worry leading me further in a “fight or flight or freeze” behaviors.

Then something came to my remembrance. When I was a young girl, my father taught me the discipline of living with a “presence of mind.” This means staying relaxed with “a calm state of mind that allows one to think clearly or act effectively even in an emergency.” It is having a sense of serenity, able to take a quick and sensible action.

I am thankful that I took this lesson on the “presence of mind” to my heart. I made choices and embraced every moment that is happening: Changing my now became my motto since I cannot change the past. I made a conscious decision to love again even after a major heartbreak; I learned to appreciate Chicago, “my kind of town,” in spite of its severe winter weather.

Just looking back till this day, I am able to apply this principle in life. It was like a collage of incidents that flashback: I ran so fast escaping from a rapist; rushed my dad to the hospital after a hit-and-run accident; gave a ride to a pregnant woman delivering a baby in the back seat of my car; comforted a mother birthing a still-born baby; stopped a teenage girl on a suicide attempt; reconciled a married couple trying to kill each other; offered one of my kidneys to my dying brother needing a transplant; grieved with my aunt and cousins witnessing my uncle breathe his last; prayed for my family at my mom’s death bed and many other more stories.

I learned that peace is not the absence of problems. It is trusting with the presence of mind that things will get better. On a practical note, I would like the readers to learn from my experiences. Let me encourage you to take a break, breath from your belly, walk a few steps, learn to relax and visualize the good things while rejecting the -ADD (Automatic Destructive Decisions) and practicing consciously the +ADD (+Advancing Destiny Desired) choices.

In summary: “Know your thoughts . . . thoughts are like seeds planted that become your expression in words . . . words sprout into deeds. . . deeds branch into behaviors. . . behaviors blossom into your personality. . . personality becomes the fruit called YOU. Thus, it all began with thoughts and ended with YOU”. Smile and be a Blessing. . .