How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in Retirement

By: James DC

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars, and watch them slowdown!
2. On all your cheque stubs, write, ‘For Marijuana’!
3. Skip down the street rather than walk, and seehow many looks you get.
4 .With a serious face, order a DietWater whenever you go out toeat.
5. Sing along at The Opera.
6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘IWon! I Won!’
7. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park,yelling, ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’
8. Tell your children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go….’
9. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: My Favourite:
10. Go to a large Department store’s fitting room, drop your duds to your ankles and yell out, “There’s no paper in here!”
Now send this joke to someone to make them SMILE. It’s called ‘therapy’!
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WHY?
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
—
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
——
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands
before the fight begins!
—–
Wife: Darling, today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
—–
It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
——
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful
things as women and then he turns them into Wives.
——-
If you are married, please ignore this message,
If not: Happy Independence Day
——
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say. After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you
finish.
———
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster
than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
——-
Girlfriends are like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers are like PIZZAS, Hot and spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands are like Wagwag RICE, eaten when
there’s no choice.
———

 

Featuring LOL Stars James DC, Robert, & Mary Jane.