True Freedom in the Real You

By: Nancy H. Abiera

 

“Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, all the earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth. ” So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female.” Genesis 1:26-27. HCSB Version

“Who you are originally as God-created you is a Gift from God. What we become as we respond to this gift of life is the most precious thing you could ever give to God, to yourself and to others.” Nancy H. Abiera

July 4th is a special time of celebration and to give honor to all men and women who fought America’s freedom and democracy. Let us all rejoice and be thankful for them as we all enjoy this freedom and democracy we have now. May we all have a Blessed 4th of July.

Now let us look closely “On A Bright Side” of our freedom individually to discover true freedom in knowing the “Real You”. I will be using some acronyms for everyone to remember easily. In order to have a brighter side of how we see and perceive things, we need to change the “stumbling blocks” and use them as “stepping stones” to freedom. My friend, Dr. Becky Reyes, a well trained-counselor, shared with me the issues people face life I call PACTS (Power, Anger, Control, Trust and Self- Esteem). Thank God, with His help, revelations of truth came forth.

I will start from the end with Self-Esteem, our identity. When I was younger, I did not know who I was. My identity and self-worth was attached and to my ethnicity being Filipino, family origin (coming from poverty), education (attended public school which created some stigma), social/economic status, career/profession, titles/positions of power, the size of our house/where I live, brand names of clothes I wear, etc. Thus, I developed a “poverty or poor me” mindset. The injustice of poverty made me so angry as a young child and this continued to multiply growing up till adulthood.

In Genesis 1:26-27, we were created in the image and likeness of God. God is Spirit, therefore, when God created me, I was made a spirit being just like Him, my Daddy, my spiritual and supernatural father. This is what I would call GIN (God-Identity Nancy) or GCN (God-Created Nancy), or the SRN (Supernatural Real Nancy) which sounded serene, the real me.

However, I was not taught in my younger days the truth of my Heavenly Father and spiritual daughter love relationship. I was born and raised to practice religion, the do’s and don’ts of living naturally with rules/traditions, empty rituals. I was not able to understand life at all with just religion. I hated that but that was all I knew. This began my SIN (Self-Identity Nancy), the sinful self-created Nancy. I decided to self-create based on my DREAMS (Desires, Reasonings, Expectations, Ambitions, Motivations and Selfish lifestyle. These values and beliefs made me struggle with the PACTS (Power, Anger, Control, Trust and Self-Esteem) issues making me even more selfish and self-centered. This is not to mention the stuff attached to it like my STCAP (Self-esteem bankruptcy, Trusting-not anyone, Controlling, Angry and Power-hungry) Nancy (PACTS backwards). I created the Tower of Nancy (like the Tower of Babel) made and rooted in pride of SIN (Self-Identity Nancy). However, this tower was tested in the blows and storms of normal life.

To give you some glimpses, I was 22 years old when my father whom I loved so much passed away. This shook my foundation. Four years after, my one and only boyfriend betrayed me causing the crack in the tower of Nancy. I was so heartbroken. I was very very hurt. I left the Philippines feeling lost. I reaped the consequences of mixing LOve with luST (LOST) and got deeply wounded. I used all the ANT (Angry, Negative and Traumatic) emotions to rebuild my new tower in America which hardened my inner heart.

Exactly 22 years thereafter, the biggest emotional earthquake in my life happened. I came face to face with self-destruction. It almost ruined myself, my life, my faith, my marriage, my career, my church, my all, etc. – – – Summarizing them all: my brother whom I loved so dearly died while my mother’s health deteriorated leading to her death a year after; my marriage was on the rocks; the church I was pastoring had so much conflicts; while friends and loved ones socially and professionally betrayed me accusing me of lies I had no clue. Even some people in church and in the denomination where I served gossiped about me which caused me more pain.

I felt like Job in the Bible who had no one to turn to. With all the stress I was going through, this took a toll on my health. I was diagnosed with severe AFS (Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome which I would also call Anxiety, Fear and Stress). I was having panic attacks with just the sound of a phone ring. The stress piled up not to mention my golden years which added to the hormonal, chemical and mineral depletion in my body. All these immobilized me physically, emotionally and spiritually. On top of that, my husband could not handle the stress of “empty nesting” when our children left for college and got married. It felt like all the floors of the tower I self-created similar to the Twin Tower in New York crashed to ground zero.

I was so angry at God and blamed Him for all the mess I created. After thorough reflection of my life and visiting the deep-seated anger I hid in my heart long ago, I finally stopped arguing and agreed with God. I realized how selfrighteously religious I was just like Job in the Bible. I eventually turned to Jesus and repented. The arguments turned into agreements.

Praise the Lord, the Father who never let me go even in the midst of multiple crisis was there all along and helped me greatly to understand God, myself and even the people who hurt me. “Crises” led me know in-depth who “Christis”. The deeper my pain was, the deeper Jesus healed me. When I turned to Jesus for inner healing, I found freedom.

I discovered the new “serene” Nancy, the SRN (Supernaturally Real Nancy), the God created Nancy made in God’s image and likeness. I learned to know the “True Nancy” living in true freedom. My love relationship with the Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ and in fellowship with the Holy Spirit got deeper, wider and stronger. My relationship with myself and others turned even more meaningful, beautiful and colorful. Hallelujah!!!

I will re-use and revise the May 2015 example at the end of my article to sum all these in a nutshell. My apology to all the readers for the setting up/typo errors in the last month article.

Poem in the rhyme of “Humpty Dumpty”

SIN (Self-Identity Nancy) or SCAN (Self-Created Angry Nancy)

Self-Created Angry Nancy sat on a wall

Self-Created Angry Nancy had a great fall

All the world’s riches and all the world’s wisdom

Could not put Self-Created Angry Nancy together again

GCBN (God-Created Blessed Nancy)

God-Created Blessed Nancy sat on a wall

God-Created Blessed Nancy had a deeper call

All the many elders and members and all the many friends and family

Could not stop God-Created Blessed Nancy loving them all.

“Who you are originally as God-created you is a Gift from God. What you become as you respond to this gift of life is the most precious thing you could ever give to God, to yourself and to others.” You could choose to live as “Godcreated” and be blessed or “self-created” and be less-blessed or worst depressed. Choose “On A Bright Side” and reject “On A Dark Side”.

Jesus loves you!!! Smile and be a blessing. . .

July 4th Picnic celebration at Don & Flor Kramer’s Northbrook residence, from left, front: Flor, Girlie, Veronica, Joe & Don.
Back, from left: Dan Gawat, Sharong & Bob Barnett.

 

NWHIT President Jenita Julian celebrating her 70th with her children from left: Armand, Jenrek, Athens and Allenjude and her father, last June 5. 2015

Birthday celebrant Jenita Julian with her school staff in celebrating her 70th. From left, Chona, Nanette Ludy, Julie, Reggie.