Band of Brothers, and a Sister

By: Maria Girlie Pascual

 

The text message was short and direct to the point. “Arriving on May 31, Cathay Pacific Flight #…..” After my trip to Manila last February, my eldest brother, Dr. Arsenio Tristan Pascual lll, expressed his desire to take his 14-year-old daughter, Annika, back to the United States so she can enjoy the warmer months instead of visiting in the winter for Christmas. I briefly agreed to his musings about traveling this summer, and did not think anything of it until he actually bought the tickets to Chicago. Soon, I was at O’Hare picking them up and thus began the 45-day reunion that always ended past midnight, or until the beer ran out.

My brother “Docboy” earned his nickname after passing the medical board exams in Manila in the late 1980’s. He started college enrolled in a business course, my mother urging him to take over our salt farm and fishery business, but later changed his mind, and major, when he realized that he wanted to aspire to a loftier ideal than just engaging in commerce.

Maybe the fact that my father, Dr. Arsenio Pascual Jr., a surgeon and a practicing lawyer, may have had some influence on his educational choice, but Docboy did graduate from the Far Eastern University in medicine, passed the board a few months later, and signed up at the Ospital Ng Maynila as a resident and trained under the watchful eye of my father, who was then the Director at the Department of Surgery, along with a successful medical practice at the Manila Doctors and Cardinal Santos hospitals. On top of that, my Dad taught medical jurisprudence classes at the Ateneo De Manila University where he got his law degree when he was turning 47, and at the University of Santo Tomas where he got his medical degree back in the 60’s.

Wanting to differentiate himself from my father, Docboy decided to specialize in head and neck surgery, and became an Otolaryngologist with a private practice at both the Manila Doctors Hospital in Malate, and the Cardinal Santos Memorial Center in Greenhills, along with being the ENT Department Head at the Ospital Ng Maynila and the Quezon City General Hospital in Quezon City. His community service to the public comes with a paltry salary, a mere stipend, not something any doctor will be able to live on, and the private practice is the one that allows him to make a living. Again, this was something he learned from my Father, where my Dad had numerous discussions with my mother when he came home with live chickens or produce as payment for his services, ignoring the offers from private moneyed hospitals that wanted a Philippine graduate with a residency in the East Coast as part of their medical staff. My Dad believed that being a doctor was a profession that can never be used only for personal gain, but a way to be of service to others, and judging by the way Docboy has grown his practice, he is a doctor first and foremost, and everything else comes second, with his personal life falling to the wayside as he continues to aspire to be true to his calling. Thus, this brief time with his daughter and us, his siblings, was something he looked forward to for the next 6 weeks.

There were golf outings, incessant parties hosted by common friends and relatives, a weeklong trip to Los Angeles for Annika to experience Disneyland and hopefully remember Universal Studios, Hollywood, the beach, and anything they could experience together, along with my niece Sabrina who was turning 18 when she decided to fly to Los Angeles with them. Docboy met up with aunts and uncles, cousins, and classmates from med school, now successful physicians in the West Coast.

In Chicago, he played golf whenever he can, competing with my brother, Arsenio Bently Pascual the Vl, for a silver cup that brought back sibling rivalry to the fore as they agreed to a “best of seven rounds” tourney just between the two of them. In the end, Bently won, but not without a fight from Docboy, who with his borrowed clubs and the absence of a caddie, learned how to navigate and read the green and was graciously awarded with a new driver by Jessie Magsino of AAGI (Asian American Golfers of Illinois) for the way Docboy hit it with power and focus.

In between drinking and driving.. the golf ball, was our very own CPRTV interview. In a oneon- one sit down with kindred spirit Joe Mauricio, the conversation ebbed and flowed effortlessly, with Joe fielding questions about Docboy’s profession, his thoughts on the Philippine Health Insurance Corporation or Philhealth, the economy, and his thoughts on the new Philippine President. Joe cooked a sumptuous meal for him and even gave him a bottle of his favorite liquor, while Veronica regaled him with stories about our mom, the original Diva of Manila. Docboy’s short visit to ViaTimes was again, a testament to how his personality makes him charming and deadly to the women. Like I said, Joe’s kindred spirit.

After golf came the parties, two cocktail events hosted by Dan Gawat and Thom Bierbrodt at their stylish home in Mundelein, a summer fete hosted by Don and Flor Kramer at their palatial Northbrook home on Father’s Day complete with lobsters and caviar, a pre-birthday dinner barbeque with Dino and Melody Dizon and their kids, Joshua, Jericho and Jassie, plus a whirlwind round of dinners and drinks that made me pop Tylenol and antacid like popcorn.

It all came to a fitting end in downtown Chicago where he was billeted by my son Kristoffer in a suite at the Chicago Hilton overlooking the lake across the Millennium Park. Docboy’s final night was the Fourth of July fireworks and concert, flanked by all of us, including Arsenio Brent Pascual V, who with his wife Dodjie and kids, Mika and Miki, hosted his six-week stay at their home, cooking endless meals and preparing limitless cocktails for those who paid Docboy a visit. Bently and his wife Pie and daughter Sabrina made sure we had front row seats at the Peter Cetera concert that night, while good friends Carla Soria, Rowe Esquivel, Ces Caguiat with son Anthony and Grace Dysico all came out to join Docboy and Annika on their last night in Chicago, with James Delacruz as the official photographer for his stay.

The next day, I took him to the airport, and it was over…Docboy and Annika left for Manila. Sure, we were all tired and haggard from drinking, partying, golfing, laughing, reminiscing, even arguing, but isn’t that what family is all about? Being real with each other, remembering how we were in our youth, growing up with parents who believed in schooling us about life firsthand— handing us our first drink, never censoring our choices of books and movies, challenging us to think and to fend for ourselves, but reminding us to be truthful to ourselves, to be authentic, and to aspire to be the best. Sure, our lives are all different, and yet we remain the same when we are around each other, knowing who we are, loving each other in the best way any sibling can. We are not perfect individually, but admit that we are not, and still support each other as long as we remain true to ourselves and our beliefs.

Growing up as the only daughter among five boys was not easy, but, oh, was it fun! There were no rules, no separating the girls from the boys when we played with our cousins, and no games that were gender specific, even if it included rough housing because physical sports were part of our growing-up experience. This probably explains why in a league of predominantly male golfers with a handful of female players, I am as comfortable with them and their wives, as they are with me. Gender was never a requirement or an issue for anything, and that was how my outlook on relationships was formed—more about equality and teamwork, than the traditional and old school way of man taking care of woman which our parents grew up with.

This fostered an equal footing with my brothers when it came to our rights as individuals, while deferring to Docboy’s opinions because he was the eldest. That’s the way we were raised, and that respect carries on to this day. My brothers jokingly refers to that system as the “totem pole,” where the younger siblings sat at the end of the table– Arsenios 5, 6 and 7, (Brent, Bently and AA) while the elder ones—Docboy, my second brother Arsenio Mark lV, and myself sat with my Dad, Arsenio Jr. (my grandfather was Arsenio, Sr.) and my mom, Teresita Lorenzo, at the head of the table where everything was served first. Five boys, one girl, made up for a very lively and interesting childhood, but that’s another story, even fodder for a novel.

All of those who have seen us together, my golfer buddies, our friends, cousins, all marvel at our closeness, even at our age. Yes, we do have our arguments, disagreements, and sometimes hurt each other unintentionally. What has kept us together all these years as my brother, the wise Brent or Arsenio V always reminds us, that all our decisions about family matters must be guided by one thing and one thing alone, that our thoughts and goals in resolving issues between us siblings have to come… from a place of love.

Until next time, Kuya and Annika…soon, we may not be able to travel as much, drink as much, even laugh as much. Still, we had this time together, and for that, we are all thankful.

Chicago cheers w Docboy, Bently and Brent Pascual and James DC

Official visit to Consul General Calonge’s office withthe Pascuals.

Final AAGI Golf Game Party hosted by Dan Gawat and Thom Bierbrodt with special guest Congen Gene Calonge.

(1) Farewell party for Docboy with golfers and musicians; (2) Pascual Girls Mika, Sabrina and Annika enjoying the Chicago amenities and skyline; (3) In Disneyland, California with Kris Wildoer, fiancée Svienna, Sabrina, Annika and Docboy Pascual.

(1) Pascuals invited by Dino and Melody Dizon. (2) Lobsters at Don and Flor Kramer’s with Don, Docboy and Brent Pascual; (3) The CPRTV family group (Melody, Veornica & Girlie) with guests Docboy, Mika, Miki & Annika Pascual, Joshua, Jericho & Jassie Dizon, after Docboy’s one-on-one interview with CPRTV Interview Host Joe Mauricio.

(1) The Seadog River Cruise at Navy Pier; (2) At the Cheese Section of Eataly Chicago, Docboy’s favorite snack; (3) Sand and Surf at Santa Monica Beach with Sabrina and Annika (4) Bently wins the cup from Docboy; (5) Fireworks Finale a fitting Farewell w siblings Brent, Girlie, Docboy and Bently Pascual.