Myths and Miracles of Motherhood | A Tribute to my Husband on Father’s Day

By: Lou Maningas Cabalona

“Lovely, samahan mo si J-rick sa banyo” (“Lovely, come with J-Rick to the bathroom”), I recall my mom saying.

J-Rick is my youngest sibling born 8 years after me and accompanying him to the bathroom meant him doing his business (usually #2) and me guarding that he doesn’t fall into the toilet bowl (no potty trainers then), then washing his bottom with soap and water using a tabo (pail) when he is done.

I don’t recall thinking it was a gross thing for a kid to do at 11 or 12; it was kinda just expected. But what I do know is that I have been taking care of kids — from my siblings and cousins to their children –ever since I was young.

I know how to change diapers, how to bathe them, how to carry them, and I knew the tricks to making them sleep.

I had hands on training and I was ready. Or so I thought.

I smiled proudly when the nurses at the hospital said I was a natural at carrying my baby. Of course, I knew supporting the head, neck and body when carrying an infant is a must!

But over the weeks and months I have spent with my son, Reign Malaya, I realized that all moms must also have had the stamina to lovingly hold their little ones in their arms for hours when they wouldn’t settle for the bassinet or the rocker. And they must, as I have, learned everyday things you used to do with two hands can actually be done with just one!

Who would have thought the skill of picking things up with my feet – a skill I learned growing up in the Philippines and have not often exercised til now – would come in soo handy!

Putting my baby to sleep? That was easy. He IS asleep most of the time. But, If needed, I would rock him in my arms and he’d knock out in a few minutes.

What I didn’t know, though, is that newborns also needed to wake up to feed every 2 to 3 hours every day — and every night — because their little stomachs cannot handle enough milk to keep them asleep through the night. That meant that for at least 4 to 6 months, I will and have adjusted my sleep schedule to having 2 to 3 hour naps throughout the night just like my baby with 30 minutes to an hour of feeding-the-baby-time in between.

I thought “sleepless nights” are only for parents with fussy babies. I didn’t know it was a pre-requisite for becoming good parents.

I thought I was immune to crying. I knew for a fact I could stand hours of loud wailing in the car, if say, my kid wanted an outrageously expensive toy at the store.

But my heart jumps every time I hear even the softest of Reign’s cry. And when he is still crying after I check that he’s been fed, his diaper is not wet, he is not cold nor hot, and his hands and feet are not wedged somewhere, my mind can’t seem to rest. I google for an answer on one hand while cradling him and kissing, “I am sorry sweetheart, I don’t know what’s wrong yet but for now, I can only give you my love.”

Despite being as ready as ready can be, there were so many things that came as a surprise to me.

Things that I thought was easy peasy were not so.

At the same time, things that I thought ordinary, I have come to experience so profoundly.

Spending days and nights with my son in his entire 57 days of existence is the most rewarding experiences I have had. Until today, every now and then, it awes me that I have, in my hands, a beautiful human being whose life depends on me completely and I feel blessed. His hearty chuckles while sleeping makes me genuinely happiness I feel my heart melt. The way he stares at my face while he drinks his milk makes me want to whisper and assure him that I love him and I will always be there for him.

So, it doesn’t matter that I haven’t had proper sleep in 57 days and counting.

Even on days I was sick, I feed him his bottle at 3am with a smile. And I will still do the same many times over in the future because I know he will be looking at my face and the little discomfort I feel at that time, doesn’t even compare to the joy his presence in our lives bring.

Happy Father’s Day, A Short Tribute to My Husband

Of course, I can only do what I do because of my husband, Baron, who is my number one partner in crime or in this case, parenthood.

To Baron — In a society that believes a father who occasionally changes the baby’s diaper is praiseworthy, you do that and so much more. Thank you for preparing Reign’s bottles every night before you sleep and, in the morning before you go to work. Thank you for doing Reign’s extensive laundry every week and for making sure the baby carrier base is always in the right car! Thank you for taking care of Reign’s feedings late at night when I am too tired and can’t keep awake and Thank you for taking on some of the chores I haven’t been able to do since our little one came home.

I always try to show my appreciation by saying thank you but on your special day, I want the world to know that you are the most thoughtful, hardworking and awesomest papa in the universe!

I don’t know what other challenges and surprises are up ahead in this parenthood journey, but I know we are the A-team and we can take on anything together! Happy Father’s Day, Mahal!