The Atheist

By: James DC

 

An atheist was walking through the woods.
“What majestic trees”!
“What powerful rivers”!
“What beautiful animals”!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, “Oh my God!”
Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. “You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.” “Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer”?
The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian”? “Very Well,” said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
“Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.”

Man & Wife

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman –
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied – “My husband’s check book!!”
A prospective husband in a book store, “Do you have a book called, ‘Husband – the Master of the House’?
Sales Girl: “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor”.
Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – Darling, Honey, Luv.
What’s the secret?
Old man: I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her.
Wife: I wish I were a newspaper so I’d be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper so I could have a new one every day!
Husband to wife – Today is a fine day. Next day he says:
Today is a fine day.
Again next day, he says same thing – today is a fine day.
Finally after a week, the wife asks her husband – since last week, you are saying “today is a fine day”.
I am fed up. What’s the matter?
Husband: Last week when we had an argument, you said, “I will leave you one fine day.”
I was just trying to remind you……”
Have a laugh, laughter is the best medicine…

From lef, sitting, Mary Jane, Aaron, & James. Standing: Robert.

 

 

 

From left: Brian, James, Robert & Melody.