VIA Times – February 2017 Issue Vital News, Vibrant VIews for Asian Americans in Chicago & Midwest
By: Jovie Calma
For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Jovie and I’m one of the daughters and the baby girl of Ricardo. On behalf of my Calma Family, please allow me to express my heartfelt gratitude to everyone for being here today and spending time with my family to celebrate the life, cherish the memories and honor my loving father, my Dad Ricardo, Daddy Boy to his grandchildren and great grandchildren and Darling Boy to my faithful and lovely Mom, Corazon. As I stand here, I see friends, family and relatives that have come great distances to say goodbye to my Dad. Whether you knew him as a husband, father, grandfather, great grandfather, brother, uncle, friend or coworker, you probably had the same level of appreciation for him that I did.
I am humbled at how he must have touched your lives. I can only share and speak for myself, but when I think how he had a profound impact in my life, there are three words that comes to my mind, “I LOVE YOU”. Yes, these three words were my Dad’s favorite and I hear them everyday through every phone call, letters, notes, social media posts like Friendster and now Facebook, SMS or text messages with cute emojis or emoticons that we have shared for more than four decades. I could stand here all day and share all the ways I admire about my Dad but since he was a simple man, I’ll try to keep it simple. Actually, I won’t try, “I will” definitely keep it simple since in my Dad’s vocabulary, there’s no “trying,” it’s either you do it or you don’t, there’s no gray areas, it’s just either black or white.
So let me start with the facts. My father was born in Sta. Cruz, Manila and raised in Quezon City, Philippines, on December 28, 1947. He was the second of twelve children, and was the big brother. He went by many names, Ricardo a.k.a. Ricky, Boy, Umang, Daddy Boy and he’s my Daddy’o! Googling his name, Ricardo is the Portuguese, Spanish cognate of the name Richard, which means “Powerful/Great Leader” and my father was, indeed. I’ve asked some people how they remembered my Dad and here are the few responses I got: He’s my favorite grandfather. He was kind but can be strict at times. He was loving. He was one of the irreplaceable ones as a friend. He was such a cool Dad. He was thoughtful. He was tough. He was smart. He was an amazing musician. He was loyal. He was funny. He was hardworking. He was conservative. He was generous. He was Lola Ima’s favorite. He loved your Mom. He was a devoted father. He was a remarkable man. And I can only AGREE, in all bold capital letters, as I was blessed with such a wonderful Dad that I couldn’t have asked for a better Dad.
But let me add, my Dad was charismatic and very handsome, he would love me saying that. My Dad lived a remarkable life, one that inspired me tremendously. He taught me that life is too short to be unhappy and miserable and to live it without passion. He encouraged me to live in the moment and appreciate every precious time you spend with your loved ones and it doesn’t require any special occasion to express your love to them. His adventurous attitude and happy demeanor is a reflection that life is meant to be filled with laughter and jovial moments. Seize every opportunity you have, as tomorrow is never promised. That was why he would never hang up the phone without saying “I LOVE YOU”.
Growing up and being raised by my maternal grandparents, I was wondering why my Mom and Dad had to be away from me and my siblings and worked all their lives. As a parent myself, I now understand why. My parents love us, that is why. They taught us valuable lessons about life and love. They lovingly pushed us to pursue our dreams and emerge as the better if not the best version of ourselves. My Dad was a man of few words, seemed shy and quiet but was a really funny and outgoing man. He was nice and friendly with everyone, but not afraid to stand up for himself and everyone closest to his heart. He was very sweet, kindhearted person and such a gentleman. Dad was a hardworking man and considered as one of the valuable Electrical Engineers at Philips Medical Systems. He can be tough and strict but maybe because of the training he had when he served the Philippine Constabulary as a military man. He always had great perspective in life, showing great dignity and humility. I have always admired this trait, the strength of his character showed even in criticism.
My Dad left us three weeks ago. Now that he is gone, now that he is called to heaven, our hearts are swollen with grief. In all honesty, I’m in the uncertainty of how I will be able to move on to fulfill my other dreams not only for myself but also for my family, most especially for my children. The last three weeks brought me to reminisce the beautiful moments I have shared with my Dad. I’ll miss his beautiful stories about how he met my Mom in Vietnam, a “love at first sight,” a strong bond of 48 wonderful years and a love story made in heaven; I’ll miss going to church with him and singing at the choir and most especially honoring our commitment as devotees of Sto. Nino; I’ll miss his stories of my 7th birthday where he shared with me how I truly loved the spotlight at a very young age when the now famous Arnel Pineda of Journey and his former band back then sung a “Happy Birthday” for me.
I will miss singing karaoke with him as we engaged in competition to get the highest score, his top songs were Just Once and Act Naturally; I’ll miss his superb talent in cooking, I love his version of “goto” or “congee” (rice porridge); I’ll miss going to his favorite steakhouse to enjoy his well-done steak; I’ll miss our exciting and long family road trips, allow me to thank you Dad for taking me to Holy Hill in Hubertus Wisconsin, my most favorite sanctuary; I’ll miss his constant display of loving affection to my Mom from calling her just to check on her while he was at work during his break hours or every single opportunity he had and to proudly carrying my Mom’s purse, yes, I love that about Dad, he was a gentleman and a keeper; I’ll miss his antique and funny jokes and the loud contagious laughter which I believe, I got it from him; I’ll miss feeding you when you were sick at the hospital and at the rehab facility; I’ll miss my interesting conversation with Dad about luxury cars and wow, you’re having a grand time with the Rolls Royce today!; I’ll miss offering my accomplishments and accolades to him as I strived hard to make him proud of me, Dad was not as vocal as my Mom, letting you know how proud he was, but in December, he invited his attending nurses and PCTs to watch me as I rocked the runway on Steve Harvey Show for the Holiday Fashion Show; I’ll also miss his constant motivation and encouragement not to quit at times when I was struggling and his constructive criticism as well; I’ll miss him cheering on me and watching my performances, I was honored to share the stage with you Dad, thank you for being the BEST drummer when I rocked the stage as the Divalicous Rockstar with PIC Band; I’ll miss his unconditional love towards me and in which he extended to my boys, Alric and Rovic; I’ll miss spending the family holidays with him most especially Easter and Christmas; most of all, I’ll miss him calling my Ate Jo Ann “Duan-duan”, Ditche Jennifer as “Bajing-Bajing”, Kuya Dong (+) “Badong Badong”, Rod “Untoy” and myself as “Tang-ube”.
He also had pet names for my boys, Alric as”Boknoy” and Rovic as Champoy, in which I find it so authentic and unique that I’m used to it and I know that deep within me, I’ll surely miss how Dad fondly called me and all of his grandchildren. Although we grieved and cried, wanting him back with us, enjoying just one Easter and Christmas, my most favorite holidays, we know that he is home now. He is shining down from heaven, making sure that we know when to step back in life and take a moment to enjoy our lives with our loved ones. He was a fighter and his was a life well-lived.
Allow me to take this opportunity to thank my family who’s always been there for my Dad. To my Mom, I’m a witness of your patience, dedication, sacrifice and steadfast love towards Dad. You were with him 24/7, never left his side and fulfilled your vow as his wife for 48 wonderful and loving years. Now, I believe that there’s really “true love”. Thank you for taking care of Dad and for loving him. Ate Jo Ann and family here in the Philippines, the pain that I have is nothing compared to what you’re feeling right now, 14 years is such a long time, I can feel your heart is shattered to pieces, thank you for constantly burning the lines with Dad and sending your love vir-tually and thankfully, you had the opportunity to hug him and express your love for the last time. Ditche Jing and family back in Chicago, thank you for being there for Dad, I’m happy that you’re able to provide his requests of Filipino cuisine and a lot of times cooking for him and, in addition, getting Dad stayed on the course during his treatment; Rod, thank you for giving your share from running errands and driving Dad to doctor’s appointments, that’s remarkable of you.
I feel terribly sorry that we lost Dad on your actual birthday but in reality, it was a blessing that we gained another angel in heaven and we call him DAD. Flying back here from Chicago and filling out the immigration form, I realized that I have huge shoes to fill as Mom described that you were doing everything for them; To my boys, Alric and Rovic, your Daddy Boy once said to me that of all his children, I’m the toughest and I owe my strength to both of you, most especially during this most difficult time. You are my rock.
To my Angeles and Calma Families, we appreciate your prayers and love, most especially for my Dad. To all our friends like family and prayer warriors both here in the Philippines and back in Chicago, marami pong salamat sa magagandang ala-ala na naibigay ninyo sa Daddy ko (Thank you so much for all the beautiful memories that you have shared with my Dad). Dad, from my deepest core, thank you for being my Hero. You were able to make us feel how truly blessed we were to have to you as our father. I love you, Dad. Mahal na mahal kita (I love you very much). Have a safe journey. Baunin mo po ang walang hanggang pagmamahal namin (take our endless love with you). Para sa akin, (for me), you’re the BEST DAD one can ever have. You have shared with us your selfless love and you were the most thoughtful. Maraming salamat po Dad sa lahat (Thank you so much Dad for everything). I will treasure the iPhone 7 plus that you got me as an early birthday present, I will definitely keep you posted about the results of the Super Bowl as we lay you to rest today which is also the Super Bowl weekend back in the States. For sure, my boys are rooting for the Patriots!
I’m not gonna say goodbye to you, I would say until we meet again in heaven. I love you Dad. Your memories and legacy will be forever imprinted in my heart and the rest of our family, I know they feel the same way too. Rest in peace, my loving Dad.
I love my Dad more than words can say. I can’t really find the best words to express how I love him. It would be easy to say that I’ll be ok but it’s not. Life will never be the same. I will forever miss him. His lifetime of dedication and self-sacrifice serve as a monument to the exemplary man he was. His humility, integrity and hard work continue to inspire those who knew him. I LOVE YOU DAD… MY FOREVER HERO. ##
