Valentine’s Day Special: Tips for Post-Divorce Love

By: Janice Dantes

 

While divorce is not generally a pleasant experience, there are many people who find love again after divorce. Sometimes people find love quickly, while others may take time to find love. Most people do not want to get divorced again. Below are my tips for people finding love a second time.

1. Take your Time. I am always surprised when I see clients go through a traumatic divorce and then marry within months or a few weeks of getting divorced. It is not a race! There is no reason to rush into a marriage again. After your divorce, you might feel lonely and depressed. It is not unusual to want and crave companionship. You can find company with friends or companion. If you enter into another romantic relationship, you do not have to immediately marry that person. I suggest taking the time post-divorce as a single person to reflect on your marriage so you avoid the same mistakes.

2. Get a Prenuptial Agreement. After a divorce, many people become so desperate to find love again they rush into a relationship and even a marriage without considering any legal protections. When you get divorced, especially if you have children with your first spouse, you have obligations to that first family. Adding a second family can create not only tension due to adjustment to a new significant other, but it can also create conflicting obligations. Now the pie that was previously reserved only for the children of the first marriage is divided between a new spouse and possibly new children. I think it is best to consider a prenuptial agreement so you can preserve assets for your first family while still providing for your second family.

3. Update or create an estate plan. Divorce is a major life event that can drastically change your life. A divorce can change where you want assets to go after you die. Getting involved in a new relationship or getting remarried and having new children can change who you want to take care of after you pass away. To avoid conflict between your “old family” and your “new family,” it is best to create an estate plan that addresses how you want things to be distributed to your blended family. This can avoid conflict after you have passed away.

4. Choose your new partner wisely. I have had clients who have been married and divorced multiple times. Not only is this emotionally difficult, this can also be financially devastating. You may owe new spouses and new children money in child support and alimony. Do not feel rushed to beat your ex to the altar. It is not a race.

If you would like to know more about post-decree issues, please call (312) 546-5077 or janice@ pinaylaw.com.

Thank you for reading. Until we meet again, love one another.