Frog Kermit Jagger, Son of Mick Jagger

By: James DC

 

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

“Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.”

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.

The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back offi ce..

She fi nds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.”

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what in the world is this?”

(folks, you’re gonna luv this)

The bank manager looks back at her and says…

“It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

__________

Lights Out To Leave

“You came home early from your date,” John observed to his roommate.

“What happened?” “Well,” said the fl atmate, “after dinner she invited me up to her fl at. We had a couple of drinks and she put on some soft music. Then she reached over and turned out the lights.”

“So, what next?” asked John, eyebrows raised.

“I can take a hint,” said his fl atmate. “I came home.”

__________

Senior Vs. Doc’s Receptionist

There is nothing worse than a Doctor’s Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.

I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this guy handled it.

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’ ‘

There’s something wrong with my dic*k’, he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. ‘

‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ he said.

The Receptionist replied; ‘Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.’

The man replied, ‘You shouldn’t ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.’

The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’

‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. ‘And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?’ ‘

I can’t piss out of it,’ he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter…

Mess with seniors, and you’re going to lose….(yep, sure are)