Coronavirus Jokes & Others

By: James DC

 

CHICAGO! Be More Afraid of the Stray Bullets Than COVID19.

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I miss the days when you sneezed and people would say a polite “bless you, now they say “get the fuck away from me!

TABASCO,,,not only does it kill germs. It also prevents you from sticking your fingers in your eyes, nose and mouth (and other places) a second time.

Mga anak, mag-ingat sa Corona virus, maghugas lagi ng kamay, idamay nyo na mga baso, plato at kaldero.

What should I buy?… Laptop or toilet paper?

You are given $25,000 and a ticket anywhere in the world but you have to leave tonight. Where are you going?

All those people panic- buying, make sure you stock up on condoms , so you don’t produce any more idiots. __________

Sa pagdarasal, eto ang mga dapat na sindihan sa Feb. 14, araw ng mga puso.

– Sa mag-asawa – pulang kandila para sa matibay na relasyon.

– Sa mag-syota – pink na kandila para manatili ang romance

– Sa mga single

– katol para hindi lamukin sa paghihintay

– Sa mga walang pag-asa

– Dinamita para hindi na umasa pa.

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Bahasa Malaysia is the national language of Malaysia. Bahasa Melayu is the national language of Brunei. Bahasa Indonesia is the national language of Indonesia. On the other hand, Bahasa Pilipinas is the national problem of the Philippines. Tuwing umuulan Bahasa Pilipinas.

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Why are married women fatter than single women? Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in the bed and go to the fridge.

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I went to the doctor and he gave me two months to live. So I shot him. Judge gave me 30 years.

“I’ve fully finished my panic room.”