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Kahit Maputi Na Ang Buhok Ko: The Rise of ‘Gray Divorce’


By: Janice Dantes


One of my mother’s favorite singers when I was growing up was Sharon Cuneta. She sang a beautiful love song about growing old together. As societal norms evolve and lifespans increase, a growing trend is emerging in the realm of relationships: the rise of “gray divorce.” This term refers to the increasing number of older adults, typically aged 50 and above, choosing to end their marriages. This trend has captured the attention of researchers and social observers, prompting questions about its underlying causes. Below are some of our theories:

1. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. One of the primary drivers behind the rise of gray divorce is the increased longevity of life. With people living longer, seniors may find themselves reevaluating their lives and seeking personal happiness and fulfillment. They recognize that they have more years ahead and are less willing to remain in unfulfilling or unhappy marriages. This shift in perspective encourages older adults to prioritize their emotional well-being and consider divorce as a path to greater contentment.

2. It’s Ok to Be Divorced. The societal stigma around divorce has significantly diminished in recent decades. Unlike earlier generations, older adults today often find themselves in a society that is more accepting of divorce. This cultural shift makes it easier for seniors to contemplate ending their marriages without facing the same judgment and isolation that might have discouraged them in the past.

3. Financial Independence. Financial Independence Economic independence plays a vital role in the decision to pursue gray divorce. Many older adults have achieved financial security through their careers, savings, and investments. This newfound financial freedom empowers them to make choices based on personal happiness rather than financial stability, which might have been a more significant concern in their younger years.

4. Unresolved Issues. Many couples accumulate long-standing issues over the years, such as communication problems, differing life goals, or a lack of intimacy. These issues may have been overlooked or overshadowed by other responsibilities earlier in the marriage. However, as couples age, these unresolved problems become more apparent and harder to ignore, contributing to the decision to divorce.

If you are an older person and want to discuss your options in your own “gray divorce,” please call (312) 546-5077 or email janice@pinaylaw.com.

Thank you for reading. Until we meet again, love one another.

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