Sexting

By: Melody Dizon

 

I find it rather amusing to pick a topic nowadays that are not only relevant but relatable and most of all current. I shock myself at what I see, what I read and I share this to you, so we will all be in the know.

So, how many of us think about our kids being SEXTED? Texted yes, but sexted? What’s that? That’s the new terminology now, from tweens who got #me too’d, in other words.

Sexting is defined as “the sending or receiving of nude or seminude images or sexually explicit text messages.” This can happen voluntarily in a relationship or when a teenager is asked to “prove” how much they like someone. It can also happen without consent. According to a new study from ages 11-18 years old, sexting among teens and younger children has increased over the past decade and poses a growing challenge for educators and parents especially with the rapidly expanding access to cell phones.

1 out of 4 young people said they had received sexts, and 1 in 7 reported sending them, according to the study, which was published in the journal JAMA Pediatrics. Education plays a huge part in it as “age specific information on sexting and its potential consequences should regularly be provided as a component of sex education.”

Why sext? The researchers found that younger people engage in sexting in large part as a way to begin exploring attraction to other people, just as we see with actual sexual behavior,”. “It’s not terribly surprising considering as teens age, their interest in sexuality is heightened. They are trying to fi gure out who they are and you would expect to see them engage in more sexual communication, of which sexting is a part of.” per research. Because teens ‘assume safety’ coupled with a lack of awareness of the risks involved, upward trend in sexting among younger teens and preteens is almost inevitable.

Research is saying that preteens can be particularly vulnerable to the pitfalls of sexting. Relationships among tweens (children 10 to 12) are often short-lived, and that makes individuals more vulnerable to having sexts forwarded without consent or being subject to sextortion: the use of nude images and or videos as a form of threat or blackmail. Danger also arises from messaging apps that give the impression that videos and images shared or stored are private – (NOT) although this may not be the case. They may want you to think they are as a product of good marketing, but no. Because of their lack in judgement, kids don’t really have a clear understanding of cause and effect. “When they send a picture, they may not recognize they can’t get it back or that it is really up to the recipient to decide how they are going to treat that picture.” Digital privacy is a major issue.

Part of the problem lies in the children’s brains. Because younger teens who have less developed frontal lobes are less able to think through things than older teens, they are likely more vulnerable to being coerced into sexting or to participate in nonconsensual sexting.”

Nonconsensual sexting

According to the study, 12.5% of young people — or 1 out of every 8 — report that they have been forwarded a sext without consent from the sender and/or the receiver. “That is why this concept of digital safety and security is so important: because we know that this is happening. We know that sexts are being forwarded without consent, so if parents are having conversations with their teens about sexting, they can talk about those potential risks,” per research. Nonconsensual sexting can take a toll on a teen’s health and can have a negative impact on their psychological health.

What parents need to know:

Due to no privacy policies, the possibility of photos or messages being spread to other people that sexting can cause is enough to send a tween to severe emotional distress. The researchers suggest:

Start the discussion early with your kids using broad questions such as “have you heard of sexting?” By understanding what your child already knows, you can then frame your conversation.

Use examples appropriate for your child’s age. Be specific about the possible consequences of sexting. “Parents should be proactive and not reactive,”

Remind your teenager of their own worth. Let them know that being pressured is not OK and that sexting is not a way to “prove” their love. “If you have the conversation early and often, when problems arise, then kids know they can go to their parents and talk to them,”

Being open and withholding judgment are keys to a successful interaction with a young person about sexting. “This means that demonizing sexting won’t work. Also, don’t assume that you are the expert on the subject or the one who should lead the discussion,” per the experts. “You might be tempted to tell your children to ask you if they have questions, but consider what can be gained by letting your children tell you what they know and think about sexting.”

This has certainly opened up my eyes to a whole new world we live in now. It’s dreadful. As a mom, if only I could protect my children from the ugliness and the mean-ness of the world, I would. I would like to think that this isn’t happening out there. Reality check, I do not live in a bubble. It’s 2019 and everybody owns a smartphone. Allow me to share my heart being a mother to my 3 beautiful children: A song from Regina Belles’s

If I could: Happy Mother’s Day to all! If I could; I’d protect you from the sadness in your eyes; Give you courage in a world of compromise; Yes, I would.

If I could; I would teach you all the things I’ve never learned; And I’d help you cross the bridges that I’ve burned; Yes, I would.

If I could; I would try to shield your innocence from time; But the part of life I gave you isn’t mine; I’ll watch you grow, so I can let you go.

If I could; I would help you make it through the hungry years; But I know that I can never cry your tears, babe; But I would if I could.

If I could; In a time and place where you don’t wanna be; You don’t have to walk along this road with me; My yesterday won’t have to be your way.

If I knew; I’d try to change the world I brought you to; Now there isn’t much more that I can do; But I would if I could.

If I could; I would try to shield your innocence from time; But the part of life I gave you isn’t mine; I’ll watch you grow, so I can let you go.

If I could; I’d help you make it through the hungry years; But I know that I can never cry your tears; But I would if I could.

If I could.